I am the dirt beneath your feet
You cannot excape me
A part of me will always be here
I am the wind that’s causing this storm
the lightning in your eyes
and the thunder calling your name
On the nights I wake in a cold sweat
with the memory of your hands on me
so will you…
You will shake with the guilt of a thousand murderers
tyrants who traded their souls and burned bridges
until it was too late for forgivness
You will beg for the very things you swore you never would,
but it will be too damn late
when you finally realize what you’ve done,
and I will say the very thing you’ve been dreading.
As you beg for forgivness
I will say this same thing you said to me.
After you’d torn my soul apart.
After you’d ripped my body to pieces.
–I did this Because I Love you
At least she’s still feeling something.
It may be ugly and awful and angry,
but at least it’s still something.
–Better Than Nothing
She’s a beautiful thing.
She moves mountains
and builds bridges.
Picks me back up again
when I’ve tripped
over my own two feet.
She brushes the dirt
off my face.
Hope is there for me
when everyone else disappears.
She brings me nourishment
and is the only light
in a dark sea
full of empty promises
–My Secret Girlfriend
It’s late and I’m exhausted.
There’s sand everywhere
but I don’t care because
I can still taste the ocean,
and I know if you were here
you’d help me brush the sand off.
–Texts to my ex
I appreciate the fact
you think you’ve grown
from the person
you used to be
but I deserve to be a helluva
lot more to you than just
‘the girl you never would have
spoken to in high school’.
Stop pretending your
saying things like that
other than horse shit.
A thinly veiled declaration
of all the ways
you think you have
lowered your standards.
–Breakfast (That’s What My Friends Used To Call You)
When I’m here I miss the beach.
When I’m there I miss the mountains.
I want to scream. Or cry.
But my voice ran away the day
you laid your hands on me
and where there once was a river of tears
is now an empty desert;
unforgivingly fiery by day
with a life revoking frozenness at night.
–How Could You Ignore My Begging You To Stop?
- This poem was originally published in the She Will Speak Series’ Gender Based Violence Anthology under the pseudonym Nah B.